“Parenthood is an ideal guilt-generating business and labour often delivers the first volley…
…the ‘perfect’ parent has yet to see the light of the day
…there is no need to be ‘perfect’ or to follow any one script”
-the great Dr Benjamin Spock
My perfectionist trait has served me well at work, but I wonder if it’s turning me into an excessively neurotic and guilt-ridden mother.
I feel guilty when I’m upstairs spending time online while she’s downstairs with my FIL.
That I’m not buying her enough developmental toys. And when I do splurge on pricey activity gyms and crib mobiles, that I’m letting these inanimate objects substitute the best toy she can have - ME.
That I strap her into the infant seat when I should be holding her.
That she’s not on breastmilk exclusively, but enough about that already!
That I’m not training her to fall asleep on her own, setting her up for sleep problems in the years to come.
That I crave adult companionship and look forward to returning to work.
That I’ll have to leave her with a babysitter when I do, inevitably missing out on many “firsts” moments.
It’s a delicate balance between doing the right thing all the time and accepting some imperfections along the way. My siblings and I were raised by easy-going parents and there was ONLY one parenting book at home as far as I can remember (it was Spock, incidentally) - I have several! - and none of us turned out permanently scarred for life despite some honest parenting mistakes.
It’s time for some -pardon the oxymoron - SERIOUS fun!
November 14th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Don’t worry you are doing a great job! All you need to do is to relax a little and enjoy motherhood *hugs*
November 15th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
My even bigger regret is , I am not spending enough time with the kids, even now that I am no more working… *cekik self*
November 16th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Fibrate
I don’t remember I have any parenting book at all!
Piak piak piak Eve with tomato mee
November 16th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
you’re not blogging enough… juz kidding..
November 17th, 2009 at 12:17 am
hi, stumbled across your blog from Leona’s site:) congrats on your new arrival!
just wanted to say we are the guilt-ridden parent generation. everything we do doesn’t seem to be enough because there is so much info out there that tells you how to be a “perfect” parent. I just read an article that talked about how parents feel guilty for just “yelling” at their kids. Yelling is apprently the new spanking! which i am guilty of feeling guilty of too!
sorry for rambling on in my first post here! u struck a chord!
November 18th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
MC, it just proves that motherhood is the toughest job in the world!